9 Ways Smart People Deal With Toxic People

Toxicity: The degree to which a substance (a toxin or poison) can harm humans or animals. Acute toxicity involves harmful effects in an organism through a single or short-term exposure.
                                                              ~ MedicineNet

For most of us, daily life is stressful enough. We face a myriad of responsibilities, both personal and professional, that often push us close to our limits. It is, therefore, necessary to mitigate stressors that threaten our mental, emotional and physical well-being.

Similar to toxins in the environment, toxic people can inflict serious harm. Unlike many toxins, however, there is no type of “warning” that educates us on the threats such people pose. Thus, we must rely on our judgment, instincts, and will to effectively counteract toxic people.

The fact is that some people are more adept at handling toxic people than others; as such people often possess a keen sense of emotional intelligence and other attributes, along with the will to act when necessary

This brings us to the topic of this article. We’re going to discuss 9 ways that smart people efficiently and swiftly deal with toxic people.

HERE’S HOW SMART PEOPLE HANDLE TOXIC PEOPLE:

1. THEY’RE VERY SELF-AWARE

Psychology Today defines the term as “accurate appraisal and understanding of your abilities and preferences and their implications for your behavior and their impact on others.”

A keen sense of self-awareness is also an incredibly powerful prevention tool – and a essential one. Being self-aware allows us to acknowledge, understand and account for any internal or external influence that threats to “throw us off our game.” Of course, this includes toxic folk.

2. THEY FORGIVE, BUT DON’T FORGET

The gray matter between our ears is not the only determinant of intellect. Intelligence is multifaceted. As it pertains to handling toxic people, emotional intelligence takes the cake.

Emotionally intelligent people understand forgiveness as a necessary component of psychological well-being. However, they also understand the importance of not forgetting those who betrayed their trust. This intelligence allows the person to focus their efforts on building relationships with individuals who have earned such a right.

3. THEY’RE UNAFFECTED BY CIRCUMSTANCE

Let’s not kid ourselves: it isn’t easy to remain emotionally neutral when amongst toxic people; however, it is an absolute necessity. Resilience is an attribute of emotional intelligence – and one that pays significant dividends when having to deal with toxic people.

Since we’re on a “definition-fest,” we’ll define resilience as “that ineffable quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever.” Make no mistake, toxic people cause many to be “knocked down,” but resilience allows us to come back strong.

4. THEY QUICKLY ESTABLISH BOUNDARIES

Smart people often possess the innate ability to remain productive and effective. To this end, they’ll quickly mitigate any detectable threat that may affect that ability. Relatedly, when smart people detect toxic people, they’ll take swift and effective action.

This doesn’t mean they’ll be rude and abrasive. They’ll be polite and firm, yet unambiguous and uncompromising. They just won’t allow negative people to affect they in any way, shape or form.

5. THEY’RE “ENERGY-SMART.”

While toxic people thrive by draining others energy, smart people thrive by maintaining their energy supply. Being “energy-smart” simply means understanding how to manage ones energy in the most efficient way possible.

When we’re energy-smart, we won’t allow toxic people to drain this precious resource. Instead, we’ll conserve it in order to take positive action.


6. THEY FOCUS ON THE TASK AT HAND

When it comes right down to it, toxic people are simply another external distraction. This perception isn’t dehumanizing – it’s realistic and fair. In fact, many toxic people intend to distract others with their antics.

Smart people just do not allow permit such distractions. They’ll focus on what’s in front of them and move on…regardless of who is around them.

7. THEY LOOK FOR THEIR SUPPORT SYSTEM

As mentioned, smart people are often driven people – individuals that seek a better life for both themselves and their loved ones. It’s also quite likely that such individuals understand the importance of mentorship and teamwork.

When faced with the challenge of a toxic person (or group of people), smarties will tap into their pool of trust mentors and co-workers to rectify the situation.

8. THEY’LL QUICKLY CHECK NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Even those with high emotional intelligence are susceptible to negative self-talk from time-to-time. Toxic people can induce negative thinking in others if the recipient is unprepared for such – and this happens to all of us.

However, smart people are often able to quickly recognize and neutralize negative self-talk. The ability to neutralize includes counterproductive thoughts that arise from a toxic person.

9. THEY’RE SOLUTION-ORIENTED

As is apparent by now, intelligent people have the talent for seeking out solutions to problems. Dealing with a toxic person or group of people is just another issue that demands a solution. In typical fashion, emotionally intelligent people will assess their options and take the appropriate action.

Related article: How to Avoid The Mindset Of Toxic People

From www.powerofpositivity.com

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How To Avoid The Mindset of Toxic People

We all know a few negative people in our lives. They never seem to be happy with where they are in life and there is always a crisis of some sort going on with them. They dismiss your ideas as unworkable or your choices as poorly thought out. After all, can’t you see all of the downsides that they see so easily? To a negative person, there are obvious pitfalls to everything. They are crippled with anxiety to the point where they never really get anything accomplished. On the rare occasions they do get something done, they immediately point out all of the flaws and mistakes in the project.


These kinds of people can be very draining to our emotional lives and can cripple our own sense of self-worth. They seem to gain pleasure in shooting holes in your ideas or whining constantly about how tough things are in their own lives. Most of the negative things in a negative person’s life are directly the result of choices the negative person has made or failed to make at the appropriate time. How can we free ourselves from people who are emotional black holes that suck in and destroy everyone close to them eventually?

HERE ARE 6 WAYS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM THE TRAP NEGATIVE PEOPLE TRY TO PUT YOU IN:

1. VALUE YOURSELF

The first step is to recognize your own self-worth. Everyone has a unique talent or perspective, including you. You are powerful even if you don’t recognize it. Tap into that well of energy and use it to drive your ambitions. Once you realize how powerful you are, and how much you can accomplish, you will be able to ignore the negative voices in your life, even the self-generated ones.

2. ELIMINATE YOUR OWN NEGATIVE THOUGHTS

You have to learn to identify the negative thoughts that pop up from time to time within your own mind.Once you can see those negative thoughts for what they are, you will be able to see those same thoughts in others. Once you identify your own negative thoughts, acknowledge them for what they are and tell yourself that you do not accept that viewpoint. Once you have begun ruthlessly eliminating negative thoughts from your own mental state, then you can move on to the next step.

3. CULTIVATE A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

Turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. If you find your self thinking something like, “I could never do that,” say to yourself instead, “Screw that, I can do anything I set my mind to.” Cultivating that sort of positive outlook will wear away the negative thoughts that pop up. When negative people, including yourself from time to time, try to push you back, then dig in your heels and push forward. Keep pushing forward – keep moving forward because that is how winning is done. Obstacles are not end points unless you let them be. Obstacles are there to be overcome. Figure out a way to get around, over, through or underneath that obstacle and keep advancing until you have achieved your objective.

“By means of personal experimentation and observation, we can discover certain simple and universal truths. The mind moves the body, and the body follows the mind. Logically then, negative thought patterns harm not only the mind but also the body. What we actually do builds up to affect the subconscious mind and in turn affects the conscious mind and all reactions.” ? H.E. Davey, Japanese Yoga: The Way of Dynamic Meditation

4. IDENTIFY NEGATIVE INFLUENCES

Now that you can identify and overcome your own negative thoughts, you can start identifying them in others. You probably already know who those influences are, but some of them can be more subtle than others. The subtle ones will cloak their negativity in concern for your welfare, your career or your family. They will use your anxiety about those things as a handle to thwart your ambitions and your goals. Don’t listen to them. Move towards your goal, raise your shield and let the arrows of their negativity bounce off of that shield.

5. REMAIN STEADFAST IN REJECTION

Once you have identified the negative influences in your life and stopped listening to them, they will start moving out of your orbit. They will get more distant from you as you stop seeking their advice, stop answering the phone when they call or start minimizing your contact with them.

Some will let the distance grow on its own as they have already realized their waning influence on you. Others will fight to regain their influence and use guilt or intimidation to try and bring you back into their orbit once again. Most of the time it is family who fights the hardest to sink their talons back into you. So prepare to hold your ground with them and keep pushing towards your objective. Don’t let them drag you back into their black hole of negativity once you have escaped.

6. ENGAGE WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE

Humans are social creatures and derive a lot of our happiness from belonging to social groups. Once you have eliminated the negative people from your life, you can fill your social circle with more positive and upbeat people. People who encourage you and support you in the things you do are precious. Seek out positive people, cultivate their friendship and see how much happier you are with them in your life.

Related article: 9 Ways Smart People Deal With Toxic People

From www.powerofpositivity.com

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10 Behaviors Toxic People Display Before Revealing Themselves

Definition of TOXIC:

1: containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation

2: exhibiting symptoms of infection or toxicosis (a condition caused by the action of a poison or toxin)


3: extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful

4: relating to or being an asset that has lost so much value that it cannot be sold on the market

– Definition of “toxic.” Merriam-Webster Dictionary


Do yourself a favor and take a second look at MW’s definition of toxic located above.
Let’s examine each definition as it pertains to a toxic individual.
“containing or being poisonous material especially when capable of causing death or serious debilitation.”

In no way will we attempt to associate a human being with contamination in the literal sense. A person doesn’t containsome biological agent capable of throwing a wrench into society’s inner-workings.

Can a toxic person contribute to a stress-related condition that induces death? In our opinion, absolutely.
“exhibiting symptoms of infection or toxicosis (a condition caused by the action of a poison or toxin)”

Well, people inflicted with some kind of toxic agent are severely ill, and in need of medical care. We’ll make no attempt to elaborate beyond what was already explained.

“extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful.”

Now we’re getting somewhere. Harshness, maliciousness and harmful intent are all characteristics of someone toxic. More on this deviousness later on.

 “relating to or being an asset that has lost so much value that it cannot be sold on the market”

There is some correlation here. When a toxic person’s presence is made known, how difficult is it for them to reestablish a semblance of credibility? How much more difficult is it for them to establish a connection with someone?

Something worth pondering.

But the rationale underlying MW’s definition of “toxic” is not the purpose of the article. It does provide some meaning in a way, but it’s a digression from the main topic.

No, what we wish to do is elaborate on things toxic folks do to penetrate the outer layer of rationality. Some of these ten articles are crafty; some are obvious.

HERE ARE 10 THINGS THAT TOXIC INDIVIDUALS DO TO GET UNDERNEATH OUR SKIN:

1. THEY APOLOGIZE TO NO ONE

Expecting a toxic person to apologize is ..... completely out of the realm of possibility.

They’ll construct an elaborate lie before admitting any fault, no matter how obvious. The cool thing is, as rational human beings, we don’t require some faulty rationale to move on. We can choose to realize and accept toxic manipulation – an action permitting us to move forward without regret.

2. THEY MAKE YOU “PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS”

Unsurprisingly, toxic people bear a stark resemblance to the narcissistic. They’ll make you choose between something that’ll benefit your life, or decide to hang around with them a bit longer. In the event that you choose the former, the dramatic firework show will undoubtedly commence.

Forget it. Move on. You have one person – and one person only – for which you need to prove something to.

3. THEY PROJECT, NOT REFLECT

Projection is nothing more than psychological manipulation. Rather than take ownership of their feelings, they’re more likely to blame you as the source. This may be as simple as “You’ve been in a bad mood all day,” or “You’re attitude is really bringing me down.”

Remember, this psychological manipulation has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them. It always has been and will continue to be.

4. MANIPULATION IS IN THEIR DNA

It isn’t uncommon for someone that’s been involved in a toxic relationship to reveal what they now recognize as deliberately manipulative acts.

Attribute such realizations to entitlement, lack of self-esteem, or outright selfishness. The chances are that this manipulation is so deeply ingrained that even the most selfless and benevolent among us are unable to appease such outrageous and devious behavior.

5. THEIR “TRUE SELF” IS NEVER REVEALED

One day, the person is loving and attentive; another, they’re distant and abusive. That’s how they want it to be. That’s how they maintain control.

Good-hearted people will almost always attempt to understand someone else’s problems – and contribute to some kind of solution. The problem is that there is no real “problem,” and a “solution” is nothing more than a mirage.


6. THEY’LL RUIN THE OCCASION

Have some great news to share? You’re better off not involving someone toxic. Did you receive a raise? Plan a vacation? Adjust your schedule to become more available?

Toxic people have a way of contorting any positive news into something negative. That’s their nature. It sucks. But again, you don’t have to participate.

7. IRRELEVANCY IS IRRELEVANT

Solving a problem that involves more than one person requires cohesiveness. Unfortunately, toxic people are utterly incapable of reciprocating what is, to most of us, a natural and fair response.

Instead, they’ll (once again) deviate from any sense of responsibility while redirecting your attention to an unrelated matter that may (but probably did not) result from your actions. Solving a problem is not important to toxic people. They’re more at home creating one of their own.

8. MANNERISMS MATTER ALL OF A SUDDEN

On a related note, toxic people have a way of pointing out any and all acts of “division.” Sigh at the dinner table? Convey a frustrated tone over the phone? Anticipate and expect a toxic person to, all of a sudden, display a memory of someone with a 160-plus IQ.

9. DISPARAGEMENT…

Though you could likely allocate hours (days?) droning on about a toxic person’s offenses, you don’t. Why? Well, because you’re a decent human being with a good heart.

On the other hand, toxic people refuse to allow such “transgressions” fall by the wayside. In their disillusioned sense of reality, they’ll insist on making any perceived shortcoming a pain point. Why? Well, to get their way, of course.

10. EXAGGERATION…

How we could go on and on about this last one…but we’ll desist.

Shockingly, toxic people embellish their accomplishments while depreciating anyone else’s.

It’s not about them…so they don’t care. (The previous sentence may indeed explain human toxicity in the most accurate, concise way possible.)

Related article: How To Avoid The Mindset of Toxic People

From www.powerofpositivity.com

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Color for Health - Physical Health

It is easy to pick foods for a healthy life - choose the most colorful.

Fruit/ Vegetables	Benefit	Benefit	Benefit	Benefit	Benefit
apples	Protects your heart	prevents constipation	Blocks diarrhea	Improves lung capacity	Cushions joints
apricots	Combats cancer	Controls blood pressure	Saves your eyesight	Shields against Alzheimer's	Slows aging process
artichokes	Aids digestion	Lowers cholesterol	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Guards against liver disease
avocados	Battles diabetes	Lowers cholesterol	Helps stops strokes	Controls blood pressure	Smooths skin
bananas	Protects your heart	Quiets a cough	Strengthens bones	Controls blood pressure	Blocks diarrhea
beans	Prevents constipation	Helps hemorrhoids	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Stabilizes blood sugar
beets	Controls blood pressure	Combats cancer	Strengthens bones	Protects your heart	Aids weight loss
blueberries	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Stabilizes blood sugar	Boosts memory	Prevents constipation
broccoli	Strengthens bones	Saves eyesight	Combats cancer	Protects your heart	Controls blood pressure
cabbage	Combats cancer	Prevents constipation	Promotes weight loss	Protects your heart	Helps hemorrhoids
cantaloupe	Saves eyesight	Controls blood pressure	Lowers cholesterol	Combats cancer	Supports immune system

According to most alkaline charts, the following are some of the best alkaline forming foods:

Alkaline Forming Foods
VEGETABLES Garlic Asparagus Fermented Veggies Watercress Beets Broccoli Brussel sprouts Cabbage Carrot Cauliflower Celery Chard Chlorella Collard Greens Cucumber Eggplant Kale Kohlrabi Lettuce Mushrooms Mustard Greens Dulce Dandelions Edible Flowers Onions Parsnips (high glycemic) Peas Peppers Pumpkin Rutabaga Sea Veggies Spirulina Sprouts Squashes Alfalfa Barley Grass Wheat Grass Wild Greens Nightshade Veggies        SWEETENERS        Stevia        Ki Sweet	FRUITS Apple Apricot Avocado Banana (high glycemic) Cantaloupe Cherries Currants Dates/Figs Grapes Grapefruit Lime Honeydew Melon Nectarine Orange Lemon Peach Pear Pineapple All Berries Tangerine Tomato Tropical Fruits Watermelon PROTEIN Eggs (poached) Whey Protein Powder Cottage Cheese Chicken Breast Yogurt Almonds Chestnuts Tofu (fermented) Flax Seeds Pumpkin Seeds Tempeh (fermented) Squash Seeds Sunflower Seeds Millet Sprouted Seeds Nuts	OTHER Apple Cider Vinegar Bee Pollen Lecithin Granules Pro biotic Cultures Green Juices Veggies Juices Fresh Fruit Juice Organic Milk (unpasteurized) Mineral Water Alkaline Antioxidant Water Green Tea Herbal Tea Dandelion Tea Ginseng Tea Banchi Tea Kombucha SPICES/SEASONINGS Cinnamon Curry Ginger Mustard Chili Pepper Sea Salt Miso Tamari All Herbs ORIENTAL VEGETABLES Maitake Daikon Dandelion Root Shitake Kombu Reishi Nori Umeboshi Wakame Sea Veggies

From Color Connections

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Color for Health ~ Emotional Health

You can choose to put colors on or around yourself to help you 'feel' a certain way

RED makes us feel more energetic, outgoing and ready to move forward.
It tends to attract attention. Action, strength, passion, drama, ferocity are feelings synonymous with this color.

ORANGE is stimulating. It encourages enthusiasm and zeal. Individuals who wear this color like to smile and to make others smile. It also encourages conversation and a sense of humor.

YELLOW encourages open-mindedness and attention to detail. This is a color often worn by intellectuals, the studious and those who like to be in positions of authority and control. It tends to generate optimistic qualities in those who wear it.

GREEN generates an atmosphere that is calm, soothing and balanced. Harmony and equilibrium are qualities of this color. Wearing this color reflects conventionality, security and an appreciation of nature.

TURQUOISE encourages clarity in thoughts, feelings, and communication. People who are drawn to wear this color have a refreshing and approachable personality. Youthfulness and sparkle resonate with this colors' special energy.

BLUE is a non threatening color and promotes values like loyalty and honesty. Those who wear this color reflect a wish for peace and quiet, and tranquility. Blue promotes trust and is a good color to wear if this is the quality you wish to inspire in your interactions.

PURPLE generates feelings of self-respect, dignity and self-worth. It is a royal color and is associated with the monarch, extravagance and wealth. People who choose to wear this color or to put it in their environments are drawn to it's creative and spiritual qualities.

MAGENTA (PINK) is the color of compassion. It generates feelings of softness, gentleness, kindness, affection and love. Taking responsibility for your life and manifesting your dreams resonate with this color's energy.

From Color Connections

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Color Breathing for Children

"Teaching children to color breath helps them in many ways.

Teaching children to color breath helps them in many ways. It can help to calm them down, to build them up, and to teach them a positive approach where they can take charge and feel empowered and can literally shift their day and any situation by taking a few minutes to just breathe in color.

Taking deep breaths is not only good for them, it can help them to calm down and when you add in color it adds another level to focus attention on and can help with deal with pain, to gain and to grow. You can pick one color each week or pick one that is a particular challenge at the moment for your child to work with and watch as they use these tools to take charge for themselves.

Breathe in red from below and say I am Trust, I love life, and I am love, I have lots of energy and strength, I am strong, I am happy.

Breathe in orange from below saying I am creative, I am filled with warmth and the love of the universe, I am healthy, and I enjoy my life every day.

Breathe in yellow from below saying I am wise, I am smart, I am helpful and happy, I understand, I am learning everyday.

Breathe green into your heart center saying I am balanced, I am happy, I am relaxed, I am healing Breathe in turquoise from above saying I am re-energized, I am great as I am, I feel loved and supported .Breathe in blue from above saying I am at peace and I speak the truth, I am calm Breathe in indigo from above saying I trust my feelings, I see the truth, I am honest, I am protected and do what is good and what is right.

Breathe in violet from above saying I am free, I am what spirit meant for me to be, I am helpful. Breathe in magenta from above saying I am worthy, I am love and I am ready for the day.

Breathe in pink all around you saying I am perfect just as I am, I love and connect with nature and all beings on mother earth, I am her child.

Use color breathing everyday and as a great way to start the day. These can also be used any time your child needs a way to calm down and regain control of their emotions, to help build their self esteem, and to help them through any situations that arise in life. They give them a good foundation and tools to help them deal with whatever life might bring their way in a positive and uplifting ways. Remind them to breathe and say “What’s the color that is best for you to breathe today?”Or, ask them to make a picture of a special rainbow using the colors that are meaning to them."
                                                                                                                      From: Beliefnet

Color Therapy

Which is your favorite color?
Color therapy is a set of principles that are used to create a harmonious color that is used for healing. According to the principle of this therapy, color is energy. Color is one form of energy medicine based on the belief that the human body is composed of energy fields. Color therapy stimulates different centers in the brain and works on issues related to energy shortages that led to a number of physical and psychological responses in the body.
The color is best suited to treat the discomfort typical include the following:
Red. Radiating energy stimulation so it is recommended when you have little energy.

Yellow. This color radiates good feelings, excitement, confidence, and improve your self esteem. The yellow color is used effectively when you experience emotional instability and face their fears.

Green. Green is the color of a good antidote. The green color helps reshape your body’s cells and relax muscles, stimulate creativity, and release tension.

Blue. Because it has the effect of relaxing and soothing, blue color is ideal for women who experience insomnia or trouble sleeping problems, especially during pregnancy.

Purple. Acting as purifying the body, helping to remove toxins.
(Via http://www.7amazingcreations.com/ )